A couple from Glenfield are planning to host a speed dating experience for young Muslims in the city. Muhammad Ali, 27, and his wife Zainab, 24, met in Leicester after finishing university and beginning careers in healthcare and IT, respectively. After speaking to friends and family, some of whom have been through the more traditional route of being introduced to potential spouses through their parents, the couple got a positive response about doing things differently. Acknowledging the cultural and social changes within the “social media” generation, Muhammad felt that older customs “just don’t work as well anymore. Working with the owner of city centre restaurant Fernandez Grillhouse the couple will host a night for up to 30 young single Muslims to meet and get to know each other. Muhammad said: “It can be very nerve-wracking when you meet someone for the purpose of marriage- it puts a lot of pressure on the people. For the first event, the age group is restricted to people aged between 18 and 24, who will have the option of sharing their contact details with someone they like or speak to the organisers who will share contact details between two consenting people. To remove the pressure of dating, the organisers planned to create friendly cue cards that could help the flow of conversation.
Halal speed dating
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The two are at Halal Speed Dating, a new matchmaking event in Kuala Lumpur that is helping Malaysian Muslims find partners in a largely conservative society where courtship is frowned upon and marriages are often arranged. The dating service is halal, meaning permissible under Islamic law, as it is practiced with an Islamic twist: women speed daters must be chaperoned by a wali, or guardian until she gets married and who grants her the permission to do so.
Malaysia is a largely moderate Muslim country, where Islam is the official religion and ethnic Malay Muslims make up two thirds of the 30 million people. Many young Malaysians meet as young people do in many places, including through the dating app Tinder and on Facebook, but dating is complicated for young Muslims in Malaysia, where public displays of affection and intimacy before marriage is strictly disapproved of.
A client can shortlist up to three possible partners but can only negotiate marriage with one at a time, in accordance with Islamic rules. In fact, we do not condone the modern dating that is commonly practiced.
Speed dating goes ‘halal’ in Muslim-majority Malaysia
The pair talk shyly for a few minutes under the watchful eyes of Siti’s parents until a bell prompts the dozens of male participants to shift to a new table and a new prospective wife. The Malaysian concept, staged in a Kuala Lumpur restaurant, is a new twist on Islam’s practice of heavily chaperoned match-making, but aimed at modern singles for whom time is of the essence. Organisers said more than 2, people had applied to take part in the session this past weekend, the second staged so far by “Halal Speed Dating“, which uses the term denoting practices that comply with Islamic rules.
But unlike Western-style speed dating, which is geared toward matching up people for later dates and courtship on their own, couples in the Islamic version are expected to seek marriage soon after both sides agree, including the parents. But conservative attitudes are rising, and the speed-dating sessions have been embraced as an alternative to online match-making sites or apps that many Malaysian Muslims view as geared more for Western-style casual flings.
As an added incentive, Malaysian Muslims face possible fines and jail terms for committing “khalwat”, the Islamic crime of being alone with a member of the opposite sex other than a spouse or close relative.
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But they have to state speed that they are not looking to marry so soon so that no one will be disappointed. If you want to find a London spouse, speed you work be invited to an all-Muslim matchmaking event, she says. Their very first event recently saw a non-Muslim male attending an all-Muslim event on his request.